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Tricia's Musings

Random Thoughts about life in general, living in the big city of Toronto

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Need some ideas

March 18, 2006 by Tricia

So, did everyone go out and have some fun on St. Patrick’s Day? If you did- How are you feeling today? 🙂 I image some of you are barely functioning.

I didn’t celebrate St. Paddy’s day this year. I didn’t even have a drink! Shame on me- I’m part Irish. I’ve even got the traditional auburn hair and occasionally hot temper to prove it. I should have gone out and had some fun. Oh well, at least I won’t have a hang-over. 🙂

We can’t really afford to go out on the town and party right now anyway, nor did I feel much like it. I’ve been off work due to illness for four months now. I’ve been getting sick pay from my workplace, but it’s not as much as my regular working salary. I’m glad to have the sick pay although, in one week it will run out. I’ll then have to apply for medical coverage from Unemployment, and that money will likely be a little less than my sick pay.

What I really need is to start feeling better soon so I can get my life back on track. Unfortunately I just don’t seem to be getting any better.

I guess what I really need to do right now – other than get better! – is to find a way to make some money from home.

My husband is a talented musician, he plays 13 instruments. I wish he had chosen a career in music so he could use his talents to his advantage. He choose not to pursue a career in music after touring with a few bands as a teenager. He didn’t like the lifestyle after seeing how it affected some of his band mates, and he thought that his love of playing music would eventually die if he did it professionally. He’s content to play for his own enjoyment, and being the life of the party whenever he choose to play at gatherings. He has started giving guitar lessons though, and I’m hoping that that will bring us a little bit of extra income.

As I sit here worrying about money I’m also thinking I’m pretty good at procrastinating. I was asked to write an article for a magazine two weeks ago. The due date is April 1st. I stand to make some pretty good money if they decide to use the article but I haven’t written it as of yet. I do have all the background and research done. I just have to write it. Tomorrow- I will definitely write it tomorrow!

I’m eagerly awaiting my Google Adsense pin number as well. I’ve finally made enough money on my four websites to enable me to receive a check from Google, but I can’t start the process of getting paid by them until the pin number arrives. I know that I can’t really rely on Google Adsense to bring in much income, but one of my sites has been doing very well, and it’s picking up monthly. I can’t count on it to pay the bills, but hopefully it will bring in some extra spending money.

I’ve been thinking that I could possibly make graphics for people. Banners, or headers for their sites. I’ve made websites for others in the past, and have 10 years experience running my own websites – which includes marketing them and getting them to the top of the search engine listings for their topics. What else? I’ve dabbled at touching up old photographs with great success and have restored a number of ancient pictures for friends. I have a full complement of graphic software including Firefox and Adobe Photoshop to work with. I also have a Wacum tablet which helps me do fine art work on the computer. I think if I put my mind to it I could put all of these skills and resources together and make something of it.

What else can I do to make some money from home while I wait to go back to work? Do you have any ideas for me? I’d love to get some feedback.





Filed Under: Finance, Health Fitness and Beauty, Make Money, Money, Web and Technology, Web Design Tagged With: banners, Finance, Graphics, header, Health and Fitness, ideas, Make Money, make money from home, Money, Web and Technology, Web Design, website

A nurses tale

March 8, 2006 by Tricia

Nurse in SARS gear

A recent post on Steph’s Mystickal incense and More – Rant Day – People Who Don’t Tip Suck! Caught my eye:

A portion of her post states:


“Waiters and Waitresses are probably the most stepped on, bullied, and abused workers in America. They have to be perfectly polite, treat even the most rude customers with respect, and essentially do everything they can to make a customer happy regardless of whether they have had a bad day, feel ill, or the customer is rude or obnoxious.”

This portion of the article made me laugh a little. Not because I don’t agree that waiters and waitresses and food delivery people are often mistreated, under-paid, under tipped, and taken for granted. No, it made me laugh because I thought to myself, if you substitute the word nurse where waitress, or waiter is listed you have a wonderful description of the field of nursing.

I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but I work in one of the busiest emergency departments in Canada. I am often mistreated, glared at, verbally and physically abused – threatened, kicked, punched, and oh yes, fondled!

On the lighter, but much, much more gross side, I am also shit on (literally!); vomited on; coughed on (the wet sticky sputum ones are really great); bled on; pussed on (really really gross); pee’d on … you name it- it’s got me at some point.

I am also assaulted by a wide variety of the most nauseating smells that you can imagine.

1. Blood in large quantities has a nasty coppery smell that stays with you for hours;

2. The smell of decaying flesh and infection from a gangrenous foot or leg is one that stays with you for days;

3. Everyone knows what stool smells like- but bloody stool is the worst kind;

4. Infected urine!

5. You also might know what stinky feet smell like or might be able to imagine the smell of a street person who hasn’t bathed in several months but put them in a closed room and the smell intensifies greatly, and they always have stinky ol’ nasty socks on! Now that is stinky feet to the extreme.

I may be sounding rather negative right now, but I’m just pointing out what I deal with on a daily basis. I do not judge- ever! But I do smell scents, I feel, I touch, I see, rarely if ever taste (thank god!), and what my 5 senses experience isn’t always pleasant I’ll tell ‘ya.

My work takes both a physical and mental toll on me. I give it my all. I’m on my feet my whole 12 hour shift. Hey- I work 3 different 12 hour shifts in 4 days- what other professional does that? I catch people when they fall, I soften the blow when they actually land on me! I lift, I push, I run, it never ends. I always smile and talk nicely with my patients and their family or friends, even when they are being downright nasty. Sometimes people are nasty when they are in pain or very ill, sometimes they don’t know what they are doing and strike out in confusion or fear. I understand this, and that’s ok- especially if when they are feeling better they realize what they did and say sorry.

Sometimes there isn’t much that I can do for a patient except try to make them comfortable by giving them medication- be it antibiotics, anti-nauseants, or pain meds, dress their wounds, or clean them. If I can make them smile or at least realize that I do care how they feel then I’ve done a big portion of my job, one that I consider very important.

I’m the nice nurse. I rub your back, I hold your hand. I talk with you about the tests and surgeries that you might be undergoing and try to calm your fears. I bring extra food to your loved one when they’ve sat with you all night. I give your loved one- spouse, sibling, parent – a hug and my time when you are dying and I can’t do much more for you- the least I can do is take care of your loved ones in their time of sorrow.

I also take risks in my job as a nurse.

There have been many a time when I’ve had to give a needle to a violent struggling patient or worse attempt to start an intravenous line. So far I’ve been lucky in the ER and haven’t had a needle stick, but I had 7 needle stick injuries in my previous job!(due to poor placement of butterfly needles by the anesthetists!) That was scary because those patients were all Hep C positive and some also had HIV. luckily I did not get infected.

Working in the emergency department, we never know what is going to walk in the door. The media is going on about how the bird flu might be the next possible pandemic, and knowing how SARS walked in our doors in Toronto – it’s a frightening thought.

I lived through SARS. I worked through SARS. The thought of something like that- or worse hitting the streets and hospitals makes me tremor with fear. The thought that I could be exposed to something that could kill me, and possibly my family if I ended up exposing them to it, before it’s understood what kind of evil infection has come upon us, scares the hell out of me. It’s a thought that, since SARS, is with me every time I walk into the department. But do I let that fear stop me from doing my job? Not on your life. I’m on the front line. I’d do it again if I had to- but I never never want to. That fear might even make me a better nurse because I’m even more aware now how devastating it would be to experience an outbreak like that again.

I certainly hope that the majority of you don’t need the services of a nurse as often as you might use the services of a waiter, waitress or food delivery person (although nurses are sometimes treated and thought of as just that on occasion as well! I’ll save that for another rant though!). When you do encounter a nurse please remember that we are people too. We aren’t always healthy or at our best when we come to work- we have chronic illnesses, family worries and stress, aches and pains too. We work hard. We sometimes risk or lives trying to help you. Sometimes we even save lives.

On your next close encounter with a nurse please try to be patient with us.

Waiting times in the emergency departments have increase dramatically over the last few years thanks to hospital closures, nursing and doctor shortages, and local government policies. It’s not uncommon to wait 8 to 16 hours in our ER for a non-life threatening ailment. 🙁 It’s not MY fault. Complain to the provincial government. Please!

Try not to be too rude if at all possible, and ask your family and friends to treat us with respect as well. That’s all we want- just a little R E S P E C T. We are over-worked and stressed, and we are trying our best. Circumstances are often beyond our control.

Oh, if you live in Ontario, you need to read this: STOP LHINs. Our lovely provincial government is about to do something that will make health care for all even worse than it is now. Please visit the web site and take action before it’s too late.

Trish gently steps off her soapbox now and returns to the very pleasant nurse who really cares about her patients …. shhhhhhhhhh the ranting one is gone ….

Filed Under: Health Fitness and Beauty, Ontario Health Care Tagged With: abused, assaulted, bird flu, Canada, comfort, crohns, Emergency, ER, Health and Fitness, health care, Health Fitness and Beauty, IBD, Inflammatory bowel disease, mistreated, nurse, Ontario, Ontario Health Care, pain, rude, SARS, threatened, Toronto

Slightly better

February 21, 2006 by Tricia

Sorry about my Ode to Pain posting. Not that anyone has complained about it … but it’s a bit of a downer isn’t it?


I was frustrated, angry and in a lot of pain when I wrote that, and they say you should blog for yourself and blog what you feel and well that’s what I was feeling at the time.

The posting was actually cathartic in that I felt somewhat better after getting that off my chest. I’ve wanted to rage about constant pain since I started this blog, but I didn’t feel that anyone reading my blog would want to read 20 posts about chronic pain.

I’m still hurting. The pain hasn’t really let up at all since early January, but I’m feeling a bit better than I did the other night, and I feel better for having “screamed at my pain” on this blog.

Filed Under: General Musings, Health Fitness and Beauty, Inflammatory bowel disease Tagged With: angry, blog for yourself, cathartic, Chronic Pain, crohns, frustrated, Health and Fitness, Health Fitness and Beauty, IBD, Inflammatory bowel disease, pain, rage, sorry

Ode to Pain

February 20, 2006 by Tricia

The pain won’t stop.
It stabs at me, and stabs at me continuously.
I can’t eat much for fear of the pain.
The pain is only dulled when I’m empty.
It has raged inside me for a year and a half.
It has ebbed and flowed through the months.
Like a thunder storm crashing,
and screaming within me,
The pain lives in my center
and speaks when it chooses
This terrible intense sensation owns me
It is the master and I the slave
When will it stop
Please stop, please stop
I have no choice,
all I hear is it’s voice
Twisting, gnarled, growling

I must take the potion
so long denied by the higher powers,
Only granted so recently
How cruel those professors of anatomy
If they lived with this raging demon of pain
they too would beg for a potion to dull it’s roar
The elixir does not quiet the voice of pain
it still whispers in my core
only dulled for a short passage of time
how I long for when the pain is no more

Filed Under: General Musings, Health Fitness and Beauty, Inflammatory bowel disease Tagged With: constant, crohns, dull, elixir, fear, gnarl, growl, Health and Fitness, IBD, Inflammatory bowel disease, intense, ode, pain, potion, rage, raged, roar, scream, sensation, stab, thunder, twist, whisper

Nocturnal Musings

February 16, 2006 by Tricia

It seems that all my posts have been in the middle of the night or early morning lately. So why stop now I ask? Actually I don’t know why I’m up so late lately. It’s not like I have trouble sleeping. It just seems my whole internal clock has flipped on it’s side.

Things I’ve noticed in the night:

1. My husband snores. REALLY bad. It’s not like I didn’t know he snored, heck we’ve been married for 12 years and I know all his bad habits, but I didn’t realize just how loud his snoring was until I became nocturnal. I can hear him from the living room! It’s a deep rumble- like a train running through our house. Maybe that’s the real reason I haven’t been sleeping lately?

2. Raccoon and stray cats really love our yard. We have security lights in our drive way and at our back porch so whenever an animal passes by the lights come on. It sure makes it easy to keep track of the creatures using our yard as a freeway.

These animals don’t seem to do anything in our backyard. They don’t get into our garbage containers or dig up the garden. Well, occasionally I’ll find little holes in the lawn- probably looking for earthworms, but that’s about all the damage I’ve ever found. Instead they use our yard like some kind of shortcut. The cats like to explore our patio. If I knock on the window when one is out there, even if I can’t see it, it will show itself and look at me as if it’s saying “feed me” or “pet me”.

The first few of years that we were our house I never saw any stray cats, but just this last year I’ve probably seen 10 different cats. What’s up with that? Were they always around and I didn’t notice them, or has something changed about my yard that makes it more attractive to them?

3. I’ve also discovered that my easy going, mild mannered husband is really grumpy when he has to get up early in the morning. He’s never in a bad mood. I mean never. If someone could figure out a way to market whatever makes him tick and give it to the public this world would be filled with more happy people.

My husband works shift work, and this morning he had an early shift. He had to start work at 5:30 a.m., but he was going in for 5:00 a.m. to get an early start to his work. So he got up at 3:45 a.m. He says he didn’t sleep- not well anyway. I can verify that he did indeed sleep- remember, the snoring, I can hear it.

He was so grumpy! He’s normally a morning person, but hey, at 3:45 in the morning even a morning person might find that a tad too early. Being the good wife that I am I made him breakfast, coffee and packed him lunch, and then proceeded to NOT disturb him. Hopefully he’s in a better mood when he gets home.

Enough of my rambling. Do you think I should go to bed?

Filed Under: General Musings, Health Fitness and Beauty Tagged With: backyard, bad habits, cat, creature, garden, grumpy, Health and Fitness, home, house, husband, late, lawn, light, married, musing, night, nocturnal, racoon, rain, rambling, sleep, sleeping, snore, stray cat, window, yard

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