This is my husbands hand:
Yep, my husband wears fake nails! I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately. This is the second time in the last 6 months that he’s been overcome with the sudden desire to have fake nails.
The first time, Chris was visiting me while I was working in the ER. He offered to go to my favorite coffee shop- Tim Hortons- to get me a drink. Naturally I said yes, I never say no to either their coffee or their Ice Caps. I love Ice Caps. He didn’t have any money so I gave him $20. I think he was going to get some drinks for some of my co-workers as well, our treat.
Two hours later my ever wandering husband returned. He tapped me on the shoulder while I was with a patient and they jammed his right hand into my face. “See what I did?” All excited.
“You… You have fake nails? Man that looks weird.”
“Yeah, I went to check out that place at the strip mall Just Nails. They weren’t busy so I got my nails done.”
“You did, did you” Still stunned. My co-workers are laughing.
“I had one lady doing my nails and two gave me a foot massage and a pedicure.”
“You got a pedicure too?” (What the heck is going on?) “How much did all of this cost?”
“Let me see if I’ve got this right: You had three women working on you for $20? Just what kind of massage did you say you got?” I’m laughing picturing this, but he’s so excited about his first pedicure that he doesn’t realize how funny this situation has become.
“That’s right and I really liked the pedicure. I want to get another one soon.”
“I can’t believe you have fake nails!” Staring in a stunned manner at his oddly feminine looking hand.
“Well you know I was trying to figure out a way to make my nails harder for guitar playing. Bruce Cockburn (a famous Canadian Musician) supposedly puts crazy glue on his nails to make them harder and a lot of serious guitarists use fake nails.”
This explains everything. My husband hasn’t suddenly become fascinated with fake nails, manicures and pedicures, well maybe a little he only did this for his guitar playing. It is true that many famous guitarists use various methods including fake nails to give them more picking strength.
That was his first experience with fake nails.
The nails are only on his right hand, which makes it look even stranger. The first set of nails he had were really thick and while they did give him the nail strength he was looking for while playing guitar, they looked just terrible. He also kept them on for about three months and they got uglier as time went by. The second set of nails are much thinner and more natural looking. Well, sorta.
When he approached me earlier this afternoon mentioning that he wanted to get fake nails again I wasn’t thrilled. The first ones not only looked weird but they also felt disgusting when he’d touch me. Yuck. I tried to dissuade him by reminding him we have a big family wedding to go to next weekend. “Your going to have fake nails at Petra’s wedding?”
My attempts at stalling the inevitable didn’t work and off he went to get his “new” nails. They don’t feel quite as odd when he touches my skin, so that’s good, but damn, they still look odd!
Any male readers out there experiment with fake nails? or enjoy a pedicure every now and then?
Ladies, do you have any stories to tell about your man doing something distinctly feminine?
I don’t think my roomie Ed has fake nails, but I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask him. In the meantime, why don’t you visit Ed at Parenting Toys and see his post “I remember when …” and add some of your childhood memories to his post?