Tricia's Musings

Random Thoughts about life in general, living in the big city of Toronto



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It was supposed to be Christmas

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Yesterday, Sunday, was supposed to have been Christmas for me and two of my siblings, and our spouses. It didn’t happen.

I’d been feeling nauseated all week, and then on Friday evening Chris started complaining that he felt nauseated too. When we woke up on Saturday and realized that neither of us felt very good we decided that we’d better call my sister and my brother and let them know that this was a sick house.

Each year we take turns and go to one or the others home for a Christmas get together. It’s not always on Christmas day, in fact it rarely is. My brothers wife’s parents are getting older and since our own parents are gone they usually see her parents every year. My sister is divorced but she usually spends Christmas with her kids who are off to school and no longer live with her full time, and Chris and I usually end up going to his parent for Christmas if we aren’t working. We’re the only ones that do shift work that sometimes ends up making it impossible to see our relatives on special holidays.

Anyway, this year it was my turn to hold our Christmas gathering, but it just didn’t work out. Now we’re going to get together early in the New Year, probably here since it was my turn.

I think it actually worked out for the best anyway. My sister works in the jewelry trade and she’s been working long long hours 7 days a week through the Christmas rush. It would have stressed her to have to stop to come over for a while- even if it would have been good for her. Then there’s my sister in law, she works in retail sales and she’s been working long hours lately too. She had Sunday off, but after she came home from work on Saturday and learned that she’d have a free day on Sunday – maybe that was good for her. She could rest for the busy week ahead.

Ironically enough both Chris and I felt a lot better on Sunday so we probably could have had our get together after all.

So what are your plans for Christmas? Do you travel some distance to get together with family, or do you stay home and either have everyone over to your home, or just have a quite family day?





My brothers travels

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I was just thinking about my brother that lives in Vancouver. He’s a geologist – well he’s more than a genealogist, he’s the vice president of one mining company and the president of another. He still goes out on exploration jobs and visits the sites, but his main work in the last few years has been trying to secure funding from investors and venture capitalists. I’ll never forget when he secured his first million dollar check. He was here in Toronto at a trade show, talking with prospective investors and I met up with him that evening for dinner and he was so pleased with himself.

Trade shows are one of the many ways that he promotes the company and tries to get the interest of potential donors. I don’t think he really enjoys the whole trade show routine. It’s tiring – he shows up late in the evening and secures his booth or has to secure in early the following morning then he spends time setting up the trade show displays, then it’s at least one or two long days on his feet all day talking, talking, talking. After that he’s usually off to anther trade show somewhere in the world or back home for a weekend with the family before he has to get on yet another plane to go to another show or another meeting.

Another round of trade shows will be coming up for my brother in the new year. I’m sure he’s looking forward to that. Co-incidentally I just found a company online that specializes in Trade show displays, booths, graphics and exhibits and I’m going to tell my brother about ExhibitDeal because I think they may have some products that will make his job a little easier. They have everything he needs to set up a successful display from table throws to literature racks. The materials are lightweight and easy to transport and assemble. Perhaps he’s already using products from this company, but if he isn’t he might be interested in hearing about Exhibit Deal.

Memory triggers

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Do you find that certain things, when you experience them, suddenly make you think of something from the past? Smells, experiences, sights, sounds.

What triggers your memory?

When I walk into a house where someone has recently been baking bread I immediately feel good. I remember all the times my mom baked bread when I was a kid and how we’d eagerly await that first loaf of bread coming out of the oven and spreading butter or margarine on the fresh piece of warm bread and eating it, and then having another. In our family that first loaf of bread never lasted very long, perhaps an hour if it was lucky as I think we’d all have two or three pieces of the delicious fresh bread as soon as it was out of the oven and cool enough to cook.

The smell of cinnamon also invokes a similar memory. My mother used to bake pies quite often. Meat pies, butter tarts made with the same type of pastry dough used for pies, apple, rhubarb, and peach pies were also made frequently when the fruit was in season too. However, there was always a few scraps of pie dough when she was done making two or three pies.

What to do with the left over pie dough? Well she’d roll it out into an oval or rounded flat shape, spread it with butter or margarine, sprinkle brown sugar and cinnamon on it and then roll the dough. She’d then put it into an empty pie plate and bake it in the oven for about 15 minutes. The butter and brown sugar would bubble out and the smell of cinnamon would waft through the whole house. By the time the cinnamon roll was done our whole family would be in the kitchen waiting for the sticky treat to cool enough to eat. Yummy!

The smell of an open meadow always makes me thing of our old cottage area too. Whenever we are driving in the middle of summer through the county side I always put the window down so I can smell the mixed scent of wild grasses and flowers.

What kinds of things trigger good memories for you?

Thank you

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Thank you very much for all of the condolence messages that I received yesterday. Many of you have lost loved ones,and some several in recent times. I felt bad for many of the commenter’s as they told me their stories of loss.

I do appreciate your kind words.

I’m feeling better about things today. I think I am anyway. Perhaps since it was a big anniversary of my fathers death it hit me harder. I don’t know, but that’s the hardest my grief has hit me in a long time.

I’m sad today

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I kept myself busy all day today. I didn’t spend much time thinking, I was busy posting … but when I was finally caught up with almost all my postings at around 6 p.m. it suddenly hit me …

My father died exactly five years ago today.

It wasn’t as if I didn’t realize it. I think I was blocking it out all day. But I kept seeing December 8th, December, 8, 2006, 12/8/2006 … all day … and it finally got to me. I let my guard down around six, and bang, I’ve been crying and crying. I can’t stop. Well I do for a bit, and then a song will come on the radio and the tears start to flow again.

My cheeks are burning. It’s like my tears are acid.

I know that if my dad didn’t die when he did, he would have gone downhill and he would have still been gone by the time this year arrived. He had major heart problems, and I guess in the end he was lucky. He didn’t feel very well for about a month before he died, and he might have suspected that it was coming, but he didn’t really suffer. Not like he could have ended up suffering anyway. He died quite peacefully in his sleep. Just the way I imagine he would have wanted.

It doesn’t help that my mother ended up having cancer and died two years after him. I’m mourning both of them today.

It doesn’t usually hit me this hard though. I guess I usually just deal with what life hands me, but today- I’m not dealing very well.

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