Tricia's Musings

Random Thoughts about life in general, living in the big city of Toronto



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Beauty and the Beast

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Beautiful.

I surround myself with things that I feel are beautiful. Just viewing a miracle of nature such as this Moulineux English rose makes me happy and relaxes me.

I live in so much pain, especially in the last couple of weeks due to my Crohn’s flare, that it’s important that I do whatever it takes to make myself feel better even if it’s just gazing at a lovely flower.

Maybe this is my Beauty and the Beast – the beast being my pain and the beauty being the gorgeous plants in my garden?

What relaxes you or makes you feel better when you’re in a bad mood or in pain?





Nodding off

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I’m so tired.

I feel like this cute little puppy.

Hey, have you ever fallen asleep while you’ve been at the computer? I don’t know why, but that’s what’s been happening to me lately.

As you might know I have a lot of pain because of my Crohn’s disease so I’m often up well into the night. Well, at a certain point in the night my pain meds finally kick in and suddenly I’m peering at the computer screen with one eye open, one eye closed. I’m always in the middle of something when this happens.

It’s not unusual for me to nod off when this happens. Then I’ll wake up a bit – my head probably bobbing all over the place, try to figure out what I was doing, blink several times because for some reason I can no longer see properly and then I nod off again.

I think I’m approaching that point right about now. So I’d better finish up what I’m doing or it won’t get finished!

I can’t bear the heat but I have to

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We’re having another heat wave. I guess the one we had last week never really stopped, but it was much more comfortable on the weekend since there wasn’t as much humidity to deal with. Now we’re back to heat and high humidity making it almost unbearable to go outside and work in the garden.

Yes … I need to get some work done in the garden. I feel terrible, but there’s so much to do outside. Do you believe that I still haven’t put mulch down on my garden beds? Stupid me! My plants would be doing so much better if they at least had a nice layer of mulch around them as it helps to hold the moisture in the soil and keep the plants roots cool.

So right now I’m waiting for it to at least cool down a few degrees so I can go outside. It’s just after 6 pm and the temp is still quite high. It’s 30 c but with the humidity it’s 36 c which is 96.8 F.

I also want to get all our remaining garden work done this week because we’re going to have house guests for a few days. Chris’ brother and two of his kids are coming from Chicago on Wednesday and they’ll be staying in our house from Friday until at least Monday I believe.

The way I’m feeling I don’t want house guests at all but this has been planned for months. It’s hard to say no when you have that much advance notice. Oh well, if I’m not feeling well they’ll just have to entertain themselves I guess.

I’m not sure I can take this anymore

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I don’t know what’s going on with me and my body. By body I mean my abdomen and the Crohn’s disease that plagues it.

I’ve been in horrible pain for most of the last week. I take medication for the Crohn’s and I take pain meds. Neither seems to be helping much at all.

I have pain all the time, but when it’s really bad it seems to localize itself to my lower right side. The symptoms and pain levels are comparable to someone suffering from appendicitis. If you’ve ever had appendicitis you now know what I’m going through – all the time.

It’s really hard to stay upbeat when you feel this bad.

I don’t know how I’ve managed it, but I’ve been fairly positive in the more than 2.5 years that this Crohn’s flare has been going on. I really try hard to not let it get to me and I keep my mind occupied with other things like my hobbies – gardening, photography, reading, blogging and so on … but if this horrid pain keeps up I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to stay positive.

I need a break from the pain.

Too much to do

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It’s twenty to eight and I should probably make dinner but I’m just not hungry. I hate it when I’m not feeling well. I don’t sleep and I don’t eat properly and I’m certain all that adds up into making me feel worse.

I’m writing this down here because I want to keep track of cycle that I think is happening. I have one pain medication in the form of a patch. I put it on and it stays on for three days. I think that on the third day it’s not doing much for me at all and those are the days that I tend to feel the worst. Yesterday was a third day day. Of course if my theory is correct I should be feeling great today, but that’s not the case. I only feel a little better than I did yesterday. Hmmm …

I’m also trying to finish up my blogging – no hope of that! I’ve sites I haven’t even touched yet today! – so that I can get outside in the heat and water my garden. If Chris wasn’t working an evening shift at least I’d be able to ask him to water by hand or set up the sprinkler.

I’m certainly not looking forward to going outside. Not at all. It’s 31 Celsius with a humidity factor bringing it to 37 C outside right now. That’s 98.6 F. Yuck. An hour ago the humidity brought it to 39 C (102.2 F). I hope it’s a little cooler by the time I get outside to water my parched garden.

You ever have those days when you feel bleh and just can’t get things done?

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