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Archives for 2006

Black White

April 17, 2006 by Tricia

Has anyone watched the new television series Black. White. ? It’s been airing here in Canada on Sunday evenings. I’ve seen two episodes so far.

If you haven’t heard of this program it’s about two families. One black couple with their teenage son, and one white couple with their teenage daughter. For a period of 6 weeks, I believe, they all live together in one house. A crew of make up artists work with each family to change the color of their skin from white to black, and black to white for various outings. When they are together in the home they are without the special effects make up, but when they go out in public they take turns experiencing life in the other families skin color.

The show is an experiment to see if each family can experience what life is like for the other family. It’s an interesting show, not quite as enlightening as I hoped it might be, but there are still several episodes to be aired.

My take:

I think they could have cast the white family better. I like the teenage girl. She seems to really want to understand the experiment, truly tries to experience life as a black teenager when she is made up to appear as one. The parents on the other hand, openly state they haven’t spent much time with “black people” although the father mentioned playing golf with a work buddy who is black. They say things to the other family that come off as sounding naive and racist. At this point neither of them have felt that they have experienced any racism when they have been out in public made up to appear as black people.

In the first episode that I watched the white couple is made up to look like a black couple and they attend a discussion panel with other black people to discuss racism that they have experienced. The man jumps right into the discussion, even though this is the first time he’s appearing as a black man and discusses what he’s experienced when he’s been called a n*****, stating I believe that he just reacts like “why would you call me that?” and would not get angry at all. Somehow I don’t think this would be a normal reaction at all.

The black couple seem a bit more realistic about the whole thing. I’m not that sure that they are that open to learning and experiencing life as white people. The man seems more open to the experience but seems to see racism in the way people talk to him in everyday conversations and even in the way they move to the side when he walks by white people on the street. From what they have shown on the show it’s possible that he is perceiving racism that isn’t always there. I haven’t seen his wife on an outing dressed up as a white person on her own yet, but in the way she talks and acts in the home she seems to have more of a wall up than her husband. The son pulls off looking white best, but from some of his statements he doesn’t appear to want to try to “pull off” being white when made up to look white.

Again in the first episode the black couple is made up to look white and they attend a discussion panel that talks about racism. I can’t recall them doing anything at that discussion that stands out but I was amazed to hear what some of the white participants attending the discussion had to say. The most startling statement was from a man that said, with apparent dismay as if knowing his reaction was very abnormal (or at least I hope it is!) “When I shake hands with a black person I always feel like I have to wipe my hands on my pants afterwords.” I just can’t imagine anyone feeling that way.

Make up wise- I don’t think any of the family members really pull off looking black or white 100% successfully. They appear to when they are out in public … but they just don’t look right to me. I think the black family looks slightly Hispanic, and the white families features are much too Caucasian to pull off anything but perhaps a light skinned black.

Has anyone been watching this show? If you have, how do you feel about it?

Whatever your color or race – Do you feel that you’ve experienced racism? If you have experienced racism, has it been subtle or outright “I don’t like you because of your race” racism? And what Country have you had your experiences in?

I’m white. I don’t believe that I’m racist, however depending upon how you view the world I suppose it’s possible that some of the things I say, the way I say them or my actions could be taken as being racist by a person with a very negative view. What I mean is that if I interacted with someone that saw almost everything as racist then yes they might perceive something I said as being racial.

I have experienced subtle forms of racism though. I am part Native Indian. You probably wouldn’t know if unless you looked at me very closely, or saw pictures of my other family members. It upsets me when people talk badly about native Indians, sometimes trying to bring me into the conversation and get me to agree with them. Most of the time they don’t realize that I am part native Indian and when they do they make excuses “well I didn’t mean you, you’re not like them”.

I’m currently living in what is viewed as the most diverse city in the world- Toronto, but I didn’t always live in such a diverse city. I originally came from Ottawa which was, at the time of my childhood, a very white city. I think there were only two black students in my lower school. I remember my first day at kindergarten, the very first child that I met happened to be a little black girl. Of course I know now that she was black but I don’t think it really occurred to me when I was little, all I remember is that she was the first little girl I met on that scary first day of school and she wanted to be my friend- and friends we were.

Perhaps becoming friends with Faith on that first day of school helped form my view on race. Either way, I don’t react to people by the color of their skin. I try to form my opinions of anyone that I meet by what they say, how they behave. By their actions not their color.

Depending on what kind of comments I get I might delve further into this topic. Please keep your comments informative, and civil. Derogatory comments will be removed.





Filed Under: Culture, Politics, Television Tagged With: black, Culture, experiences, Politics, program, race, racial, racist, Television, watch, watching, white

Crafty old lady

April 16, 2006 by Tricia

Is it wrong to feel angry at an elderly person? Something inside me keeps telling me that it is, and that is why I’m feeling like a total bitch today.

I’m upset with my elderly neighbor Sofie. You know, that little old lady that lives next door and spent her winter peeking at me through her dining room window as I sat on my computer typing away? The one who calls me when she hasn’t seen me for a few hours to find out what I’m doing? The lady who sits on her front or back porch watching me when I’m busy trying to work or relax in my yard? Right- you’ve got it now, she’s my elderly stalker.

We’ve lived next to her for nearly five years. Her husband had passed away 4 days before we moved into our house, and that first year her adult children and grand kids would come over frequently for visits and would do things around the house and yard for her. By the second year they were still coming regularly but doing less for her.

From day one we had been friendly with her and offered to do things for her such as get some groceries when we were going to the store to get our own, or cut her lawn. Her kids were doing most of those things for her so she’d decline but she enjoyed coming outside and watching us as we created what is now our beautiful garden.

By the second year we were shoveling her sidewalk and walkway when it snowed, and cutting her lawn at least half the time, and she would occasionally cut it herself. Now this is a lady who told us she was 84 when we first met her and still tells us to this day that she’s 84. I’m not really sure that she knows how old she is, but lets say she’s in her mid- to late 80’s. By the third year we were doing most everything for her but getting her groceries.

Now when her kids come to visit they actually visit. Her youngest son comes nearly everyday, her eldest a few times a week and her daughter comes over once a week.

We don’t mind doing these things for her. We have a tiny yard, our grass area is very small and takes perhaps less than 10 minutes to cut, so how much trouble is it for us to cut her small area of grass as well, or shovel her sidewalk? Not much. I could go on with a list of things that we do for her but that’s not what this post is really about. Let’s just say we do things for her several times each week.

She is crafty though. If she sees us cutting our grass she’ll come out with SCISSORS and slowly kneel down on her lawn and start cutting her grass with the scissors! Geez, talk about a hint. How can you say no when someone does that. She knows exactly what she’s doing when she does stuff like this and she does sneaky things like that all the time. It makes me feel more than a little bit used when she does.

One of the things that upsets me is that I can’t understand why her kids aren’t doing a good majority of these things for her, especially since they live in the area and visit several times each week? Are they not offering, or is she not asking?

My parents are both gone now (I was the last child to already older parents) and they lived in a city that was a 5 hour drive from here. I went to see them at least every second weekend, and my husband and I took pleasure in helping them maintain their house, garden and yard and in spending time with them. Perhaps we took more pleasure in helping them than most since we lived in a tiny apartment at the time and didn’t have to do our own home maintenance or yard work, but still, it was my parents, and I would do anything to help make their lives easier. Why aren’t Sofie’s kids helping her more?

What got me so ticked off actually started on Friday evening. While my husband and I were finishing up some gardening work at about 8 pm in the evening she saw that Chris was putting out our garden hose. She asked if he could set hers up to. Chris said we were just getting ready to go in but he’d do it for her soon. He also explained that it was supposed to rain so she definitely wouldn’t need it for a day or two. Ok, that’s fine.

On Saturday my husband had to work an evening shift, so he helped me do a bit of gardening and then went off to work. I continued to putter in my front yard for several hours. Sofie’s son, daughter-in-law and their two adult children were visiting that afternoon and stayed for at least 5 hours. As soon as they left to go home Sofie noticed me working in my garden bed pruning my roses and she asked if I would prune her two roses in her front flower bed. I said I would and I trimmed and shaped them for her. The branches already had leaves coming out and would likely have blooms within a month or less.

Sunday, my husband had another evening shift and he was going to be late so I drove him over to the hospital where he works as a porter. When I got back home, I noticed from the car window that Sofie’s roses were now cut down to 6 inch STUBS. I just about started to cry. Not just because the roses that would have been beautifully shaped were now shorn almost to the ground but because she had wasted my time when she asked me, no begged me, to prune her roses the night before.

Later I walked into the backyard and I noticed that her Rose of Sharon tree that grows at the end of our shared drive way had also been butchered. It’s not rounded. It was about 6 feet in diameter before it was chopped up, now it’s only about 2 feet wide at it’s thickest, but spreads about 6 feet in length. Picture a tree by a fence that doesn’t hang over the fence as a naturally shaped tree would, picture a tree that’s been flattened in a press and that’s what this tree looks like. I also have rose of Sharon seeds all over my freshly turned garden soil so I’ll probably be pulling out baby trees all summer long.

Her eldest son had obviously come for a visit and had chopped up the plants. Now I’m not the best pruner in the world but I’m not a butcher. Why she asked him to, or let him, savage her tree and roses like that I can’t understand, when she knows that that is one job that I’m more than willing to do for her.

Naturally the hose that she asked Chris to put up the other day is still not attached even though she’s had all her kids over this weekend. I’m sure she’ll ask one of us to do it tomorrow.

After I made my discoveries today I was very upset. I feel used. I feel angry. I feel ashamed that I’m so mad at a little old lady.

She’s not helpless or totally on her own though. She’s quick witted and crafty. I’m almost certain that she tells her kids not to help if they offer because she knows we’ll do things for her if she asks. I’ve also noticed that she always wants her grass cut before the weekend, perhaps on a Friday … and then I’ll see all her kids over for several hours on the Saturday. She’s getting us to do the work so her kids won’t ask to do it or won’t feel obligated to do it. See- crafty.

There is almost no point in talking to her about it. She’ll pretend she doesn’t understand me, remember she’s Macedonian and speaks Greek and Macedonian to me often even though I don’t understand the language but I know she understands everything we say to her. Or if she does understand she’ll get upset … she gets upset easily and cries several times each day, usually over silly things like her grass getting too long, or her son calling at 7:10 instead of 7:00.

So how do I handle this other than hiding in my house all the time so that we aren’t available to do her bidding?

Any suggestions? Please?

Filed Under: Home and Lifestyle, Socializing, The Neighborhood Tagged With: angry, bitchy, elderly, Home and Lifestyle, neighbor, Socializing, The Neighborhood, used

10 Weird Things

April 15, 2006 by Tricia

I’ve been tagged! Twice- with the same tag! Erin from Pupsicle was first, then Ladyee-M from Loving Nothing got me this afternoon. I’m not really big on Meme’s but I’ll play. Erin played before when I tagged her, and uh Ladyee-M … I’ll get you back when your not expecting it. 🙂

The rules-

1. Go write weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your site, then tag six more people!

2. Then leave a comment that says ‘You are tagged’ in their comments telling them to read your site.

Let’s see, who am I going to tag for this? If these lovely people do tags- Shelly, Ed, D. Challener,Matt (my last renter on Odd Planet), Chatty (my current renter- go see her, this is her last day!), and Lydia because she gave me my first tag! Oh and what the heck- maybe Amy will play too.

My Weird Facts:

1. My neighbor often speaks to me in Greek and I understand most of what she says to me- even though I don’t speak a word of Greek.

2. I almost always save whatever favorite food that happens to be on my plate for last. I’m a slow eater most of the time so this usually means I’m eating my favorite food lukewarm or even cold.

3. I’m left handed, but since it’s a right handed world I can do almost everything I need to do with my right hand almost as well as I can with my left.

4. I’m tall- 5′ 11″ and my hubby is kind of short- 5′ 3 3/4″ (can’t forget the 3/4″ ‘s!)

5. I hate going to sleep! Once I’m asleep I like it just fine … but making myself go to bed in order to sleep is difficult. I’d rather stay up and not miss anything.

6. On Thursday I spent 6 hours in the garden pruning roses, loosening dirt and uncovering plants, Friday 7 hours, and today 5 hours. I think I might be OBSESSED with my garden. The hard work is done for a few weeks though, and I got a lot of exercise and fresh air. Oh and I’ve never heard anyone else use the term “extreme gardening” even though there are many who likely fall into that category, so I think I might have actually created a new expression.

7. A few years ago I spent over 15 hours planting roses in my garden and ended up ripping my posterior tibial tendon (tendon that runs along outside mid-calf, across outer ankle and attaches onto the bottom of the foot) and didn’t even realize it until the next day. I thought I had a blister at first but couldn’t find it. The injury took close to a year to heal- it was bad.

8. See above- I have a very high pain tolerance, especially when my mind is occupied.

9. I love reptiles. My other two very large sites are about various reptiles and their care. The most reptiles I’ve had at one time were two box turtles, 1 very large iguana, 6 water dragons and two golden geckos. Hubby is afraid of snakes so we don’t keep them.

10. I’m on my third career. I’ve been a Jeweler, Make-up artist, and now I’m a Nurse. Yeah- those three things naturally follow each other, don’t they?

Other than that, there is nothing else the least bit weird about me. I’m perfectly normal … or so I’d like you to think.

Filed Under: Home and Lifestyle, Jeweller/Jewellery, Life with Chris, Meme Tagged With: Chris, crohns, favorite food, garden, Gardening, greek, Health and Fitness, Health Fitness and Beauty, Home and Lifestyle, husband, IBD, Inflammatory bowel disease, Jeweller Jewellery, left handed, Life with Chris, Meme, nurse, pain, plants, reptiles, sleep

Happy Easter

April 14, 2006 by Tricia

The Easter Kitty:

Easter Kitty

Filed Under: General Musings, Photography Tagged With: camera, digital camera, Easter, General Musings, Kitty, Photography

Just about Wordless Wednesday

April 12, 2006 by Tricia

Don’t forget to visit Chatty- she still needs lots of TLC

Toronto Beaches, January –
Driftwood on the beach at sunset

Driftwood on the beach at sunset

Sunset over Lake Ontario

Sunset Lake Ontario

Lifeguard station, sunset, done in Sepia

Life guard station Sepia

I hope your Wednesday was great- remember it gets better from here on in!

Filed Under: Canada, Photography, Toronto, Wordless Wednesday Tagged With: Beaches, camera, Canada, digital camera, Lake Ontario, Life Guard, photo, Photography, shack, station, sunset, Toronto, Wordless Wednesday

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