I kept myself busy all day today. I didn’t spend much time thinking, I was busy posting … but when I was finally caught up with almost all my postings at around 6 p.m. it suddenly hit me …
My father died exactly five years ago today.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t realize it. I think I was blocking it out all day. But I kept seeing December 8th, December, 8, 2006, 12/8/2006 … all day … and it finally got to me. I let my guard down around six, and bang, I’ve been crying and crying. I can’t stop. Well I do for a bit, and then a song will come on the radio and the tears start to flow again.
My cheeks are burning. It’s like my tears are acid.
I know that if my dad didn’t die when he did, he would have gone downhill and he would have still been gone by the time this year arrived. He had major heart problems, and I guess in the end he was lucky. He didn’t feel very well for about a month before he died, and he might have suspected that it was coming, but he didn’t really suffer. Not like he could have ended up suffering anyway. He died quite peacefully in his sleep. Just the way I imagine he would have wanted.
It doesn’t help that my mother ended up having cancer and died two years after him. I’m mourning both of them today.
It doesn’t usually hit me this hard though. I guess I usually just deal with what life hands me, but today- I’m not dealing very well.
Hugs to you on this anniversary.
It’s difficult to let go of your parents isn’t it? My Mom died 7 years ago and it was rough going for a few years – I just felt so alone and suffered from depression and didn’t understand what was happening to me. I still wish I could phone her to tell her what’s happening…just one more time…
My Dad is 93 and still going strong. He and I have become very close in the last few years as he’s aged and started to rely on me, so I know it’ll be hard to say goodbye to him when the time comes.
I hope it helps in some small way to know I’m thinking of you.
Ohhhhh, I’m so sorry that you’re sad. But I know what it’s like cause I’ve been sad since the ending of November. Cause my husband passed on in November last year on the 21st, and it was 2 days before Thanksgiving and his birthday was on Dec.6. so the holiday’s have been hard on me the past couple years.
It seems as though I lost alot of dear ones very close to the Christmas season, so it’s become quite a hard time for me too. My 2grandbabies died in 98. One in October and another one in December, my Mom died the same day as Princess Di at the end of November, and last year my husband. So you are not alone, my dear. I share your grief too. But maybe someday we won’t hurt as much as we do now. I pray for blessings upon you that you may be comforted by the grace of God. Take care. Big (((HUGS))) from me to you. I really do feel your pain.
Breaks my heart to hear that both your parents are gone. A HUGE hug for courage and strength.
Tisha
Hugs to you…
It was 5 years for my Dad this year as well, so I know what you mean. It seemed harder than the last few.
There will be better days.
I’m so sorry, Tricia. You know I can feel your pain. Hugs to you today, friend, even if they are a day late and a dollar short.
Awww sweetie 🙁 {{HUGS}}
Hey! How did I get that sexy picture?
My mom died of lung cancer in October. I miss her so much. Her birthday passed on Dec 16th and Christmas was her favorite holiday. It has been hard these past few months. Some days I think, “wow it’s snowing I’ll call mom and tell her” or, “look what the cat did I’ll call mom”… but of course I can’t.