Archives for May 2006

Bad Rating?

May 17, 2006 by Tricia

OMG! Someone gave my site a really bad rating over at BL0GEXPLOSION! All 1’s ??? Come on … only a site that either doesn’t load at all, or that’s full of racial slurs and hate deserves all 1’s. Really.

I don’t care all that much about my rating, but this is so out of whack. I wonder if there is someone going around on BE, like there is at BL0GMAD, giving everyone bad ratings?

It just seems so mean! It also makes me feel very distrustful of people too. Was it someone I battled against yesterday? (The rating occurred last night) Someone that saw my site in the BL0G rocket? Or even someone that I talked to in the SB? I’m trying to be friendly, perhaps make some friends and most of all have some fun, but someone doing something like this really makes me wonder about people.

Want to do me a favor and get my site rating back up to where it should be? BTW where it should be is for you guys to determine, I’m not begging for a high rating, just a fair one. Review my site on BE and tell me what you really think.

Thanks!

Happy Childhood and kids of my own someday?

May 16, 2006 by Tricia

I suppose it’s time I write my follow up to Mother’s Day – A love Story.

My family before I came along

I had a very happy childhood. Yes, there are things I could complain about, but compared to many other peoples childhood horror stories, my life was perfect.

I had loving parents that provide a stable home life – a roof over our heads, plenty of love and care, and there was nothing that I needed that I lacked.

Yes, they did deny me some of the things that I wanted, but I believe that was good parenting. They taught me to respect what I had, and to earn what I wanted.

I also had three older brothers and an older sister to care for me and spend time with me.

I don’t remember much about my oldest brother. He was after all nearly 20 when I was born and moved out of the house within a year or two. Our relationship has never been all that close and that’s likely because of the major difference in our ages and the fact that he wasn’t around that much while I was growing up.

My second oldest brother was great. I can remember him taking me skating, skiing, playing golf (well, I sort of caddied for him when he played golf with his friends), hiking, canoeing, tobogganing.

My brother Laurie and Me

We did all the fun sporty stuff together. I saw him repeat the same things with his own children. Always being a big part of their lives. In fact he was the first of my siblings to become a father.

My youngest, but still much older brother, is the most like me.

We just seem to think alike.

It was always easy to be around him and have fun with him and it still is. I think all my siblings feel the same way about him, as he’s just a great guy.

My sister before I came along, praying for a boy perhaps?

My sister wanted a baby sister so badly that while my mom was pregnant she told everyone that she wanted a brother. She says now that you never get what you wish for and that’s why she wished for a boy. I guess she was right because I most certainly am a girl!

My parent either felt that I was going to be a boy or that my sister was a handful and they wanted the new baby to be a boy, because they had a boy name picked out for me. Luckily both of my names easily converted into a female name.

My mom and I. I think I was about 20 in this picture.

By the time I was nine all my siblings had moved out of the house. That was a strange feeling. I’d come from a relatively large family and now it seemed like I was an only child. To say I was spoiled would not be an understatement. However I did know that I was spoiled to some degree. I also knew what sacrifices my parents had made to scrimp and save to get to the position of financial security that they were now enjoying. As I said earlier, I had everything I needed – but my parents didn’t let me get away with too much on my wants. Still, compared to how my siblings were raised – passing down clothing from one to the other, various meals made with hamburger (whereas I usually had steak), they considered me spoiled.

As the youngest, with so much older brothers and a sister, I got to observe many of the pro’s and con’s of life through their mistakes and successes. Luckily my siblings did well for themselves and their families and there were few terrible mistakes along the way. I got to see how they reacted to parenthood and marriage, how they raised their children, and along the way I developed a strong desire to have my own children one day.

I had hoped to start a family by the time I was 25 years old or so. That didn’t happen. I wasn’t even married by that time, but I was with the man who did become my husband a couple years short of my goal. I just knew I would make a good mother, after all I’d seen all of the successful things that my siblings and my friends by this time, had done right and unfortunately some of the things that had gone wrong. I wouldn’t make the mistakes that I had seen and I would hope to be as successful in bringing up a child or two as say my brother had been.

Maybe I’ve been too sure of myself, so sure I’d make a good parent. Maybe I jinxed myself. Why? Well, this is the other reason why mothers day makes me sad. I am still not a mother.

I’ve had four pregnancies. One occurred when I was only 19 years old. Oops! But all have ended in miscarriage. I think I’ve had trouble having a successful pregnancy due to my health problems. Both thyroid disease and inflammatory bowel disease can mess up your system and make it harder to become pregnant and or maintain a pregnancy. I had a pre-cancerous tumor on my thyroid when I was 21, and now as a result of surgery have very little thyroid left and have to take synthetic thyroid hormones. The dr.’s also believe that I have Crohn’s disease but have yet to fully diagnose this disorder. Crohn’s affects your digestive system and amongst other complications it can make you not absorb nutrients properly. As a result my folic acid levels are often low, and unfortunately folic acid is very important towards maintaining a pregnancy and in having a healthy baby.

All that is bad enough, but, I happened to have married a man to whom I thought wanted children as much as I did. When I was 35 and we weren’t having much success I brought up the subject of possibly adopting a child. To my surprise and horror he ended up telling me at that time that he really didn’t want children.

To be continued, come back for part III tomorrow …

Mothers Day – A love Story

May 14, 2006 by Tricia

Mom and Dad, probably taken shortly after my dad returned home from the war in 1945.

I find Mothers day makes me sad these days. There are two reasons why I find Mothers day and all the advertisements and posts on the web a little bit more than I can endure.

One major reason is that I no longer have a mother. My mother passed away in August of 2003 after a two month long fight with bowel, adrenal gland, and brain cancer. She was 81 years old. Considering her age, there’s a good chance that even if she hadn’t got cancer she still might not be here today. My father passed away in December of 2001.

My parents were both very special people. They were older when they had me. My dad was 45 and my mother was 43. My oldest brother was almost 20 and my sister who is the next youngest to me, was almost 10. My parents always called me their special child because I was very unexpected. I like to think that because they had a child when they were a bit older (not so rare. these days but in the mid 60’s it was very uncommon) I kept them young at heart. In fact they both out lived every one of their siblings in their large families.

I’m still discovering things about them, even now, as I go through the old family photo’s and find postcards that my dad sent to my mom during the war, and pictures that my mom sent to my dad to cheer him up. They were very much in love, especially when they were first married.

I don’t believe that they had a long courtship. I’m unsure when they met but I do know that it was at a dance. My mother had turned down another man who had offered to take her to the dance and she went with one of her friends instead. At the dance, my father saw my mother and asked her to dance with him. At first she said no, but she eventually relented and danced with him. That was the start of a romance that would last just short of 60 years.

I think they might have met in June of 1942. They got married August, 7th, 1942 and 7 days later my dad was sent off to war.

Don’t you just love the uniform?

Throughout my fathers stay overseas he sent her postcards, birthday cards, letters and Christmas cards. All declaring his love for her and the hope that when he returned home their life together would begin. I will scan some of these postcards- perhaps for fathers day. They are so sweet. I never knew my dad was so in love with my mother. I mean, I knew they loved each other, but by the time I came along their relationship was more of a comfortable routine. It was only in their last 15 years together or so that I started to see how much they really cared about each other. When I found the postcards my father had sent I was both shocked and overwhelmingly surprised at the love that poured out of him in his letters.

While my dad was away my mother lived with my fathers father, and his sister. She sent my dad some pin-up worthy pictures of herself. Unfortunately I don’t have them all scanned yet, but heres a peek:

The point of my story is that I grew up in a very loving house with parents and siblings that loved me more than anything. Both of my parents had special qualities but I suppose being a girl I was always closer to my mother. I did go through a rebellious stage, but because I had realized how much older my parents were than everyone else parents, and as a result, realized that I might not have them as long as my friends would have theirs, I developed a deep respect, and yes a friendship with each of them.

My mother was my friend. I talked to her everyday, especially after my father died. We supported each other through hard times, and laughed together during the good times. I learned a lot from her, but the most important thing I learned was to be strong and to believe in myself. I miss you mom, but I cherish your memory and all that you gave me.

I’ll tell you the other reason why mothers day makes me feel sad tomorrow in Part II. But I will re-assure anyone who might be worried about me- I’m fine. This holiday doesn’t fill me with joy, but I’m functioning quite well. I just wish I could talk with my mom on such a special day.

Dancing Nurses

May 13, 2006 by Tricia

Grab the Scavenger Hunt code.

Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

This weeks theme is Celebration

Photo’s from Dr. Mel’s Retirement Party. Of course he didn’t really retire, he’s still assisting on surgeries. I must be missing work. This is the second ER post this week!

At the end of the party the stranglers started dancing. I think this was the beginning of the limbo dance. The women pictured here are some of the senior nurses that I work with in Emerg – Charge nurses, supervisors and our department manager.

I had to throw this picture in too. As a tribute to Dr. Mel to teams from emerg acted out typical patient care scenes that the good dr. had likely participated in many times. This one of course is supposed to be a pregnant woman on the way to the ER.

Scene acted out at the party- woman in labor

Links to Other Photo Scavenger Hunt Participants:
please only list your name if you have a recent Photo Scavenger hunt post

Please don’t forget to visit my renter on your way out!

Sleep Clinic Hell

May 12, 2006 by Tricia

What a week! Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you’ve been really busy, but when you stop and think about it you realize you didn’t finish everything that you wanted to do, or that you were procrastinating on a few things? Well, that’s the kind of week I’ve had.

I guess I should have known it wasn’t going to be a good week. Last Sunday night I couldn’t sleep at all. Mostly because I had a lot of abdominal pain. So I dragged myself around all day Monday.

Tuesday I was bitchy all day because I had to go to that sleep study appointment. I was right to be in a bad mood about it. The tech that was caring for me all night wasn’t very friendly. I tried to get her talking but I wasn’t very successful. I did find out that she’s a psychology major and attends classes all day, then works at the sleep study clinic three nights a week. I guess she was tired but it would have been nice if she’d been a little bit friendlier.

I got there at 8:30 p.m. just as I was told to, and I was led to my bedroom where I was told to fill out a number of papers. I finished the papers within 10 or 15 minutes and then I sat and waited for the tech to come back. I eventually started to read my book because she was taking so long. She finally came back at 9:30 and had expected me to be dressed for bed. “uhm, you didn’t tell me that”. So she left again for another 30 minutes. It doesn’t take me that long to change my clothes. Really!

When she came back she led me to a room where I was weighed, my height measured, and my throat circumference taken. The throat measurement worried me because I thought they were going to put something around my neck! It turns out that my neck was about the only thing that didn’t have something placed on it.

I ended up with wires stuck to my legs, chest, shoulder and all over my head. Most of them were on my head actually. They were stuck on with a thick wax like paste and white paper surgical tape. I had at least 6 wires attached to my face, right beside my eyes, mouth and on my cheeks. Then she strapped a belt around my body under my arms and across my breasts, and a second one around my waist. Oh fun, I can’t breath!

I walked back to my room thinking that it was a good thing all these wires were so thin. It was kind of like being covered with vermicelli noodles. There were 23 wires stuck in the “sandman” machine that was attached to me.

I was allowed to go to bed at midnight but I had to call the tech into the room at some point prior to that to attach the wires to the beside machine. I called her at 11:30 so that her coming into the room wouldn’t disturb my sleepiness, if I was sleepy, which I wasn’t. What I was, was in pain! I had taken a pain pill before I got there. Partly because I was having pain at that time, and in part because I know they make me a little bit sleepy. By 9:30 I had another, and I had yet another one at 11:30 plus a half Percocet. Yes, that should have taken care of the pain and made me comatose. Did it? No!

The tech came into the room at about 11:30 and attached the wires to the bedside machine, and then she put yet another thing around my head – it was something that rested just under my nose. I’m presuming it was to measure my breathing during sleep but she wouldn’t answer my questions so I have no idea if my guess is correct. I also had a pulse-oximiter placed on one of my fingers to measure my O2 content and heart beat. Then she left the room after telling me that she was going to talk to me on the intercom and run some tests.

I’m glad that I asked her to hook me up before my official bedtime because setting up the machinery took about 10 minutes. When she came on the intercom I had to move my eyes up and down several times, then side to side, then hold my breath, breath normally, and then hold my breath and move my stomach in and out. I did the stomach thing for about a minute before she told me I could stop. This was the most hateful test due to my abdominal pain.

Since I couldn’t get out of bed to turn out the light on my own she came back promptly at midnight to turn it out. I wasn’t pleased. I was almost wide awake and I wanted to continue reading as I usually get very sleepy when I read. She wouldn’t let me. Hey, I had a bedside lamp beside me, I could have read and turned out that light on my own- but no, I wasn’t allowed. So I ended up lying awake until sometime after 3:30 am. Getting boob wedgies from the tight band she’d placed around my chest. I heard every streetcar go by, all the partiers outside on the street, delivery trucks backing up. Everything.

With 3 tramadol and a half percocet coursing through me I should have been deeply asleep, but I was still in pain and just couldn’t get to sleep. I finally fell asleep only to wake up again by 5:30 am. I lay in bed until almost 6:30 and then I called the tech to come and unhook me so I could have my shower and get the heck out of there.

I practically ran out of the clinic when I was able to! I was free, I was free! I went home and unfortunately still couldn’t sleep. I did have an hours nap that evening though, so that helped.

I’ve spent the rest of the week feeling blah. My tummy is just in an uproar. It’s not happy, and when it’s not happy I can’t sleep and I can’t do much else either. I’m supposed to be at a party tonight. My husband went, and he’s playing guitar on the stage that they set up in the hall and I’m missing it. I’m disappointed. I really wanted to go and see my friends, and watch Chris perform.

Plants to go in the garden sitting on my patio table

As for the procrastinating bit. Last Friday Chris and I went to one of my favorite garden centers and picked up some more plants for the garden. Mostly annuals for summer color, but yes, I bought some more perennials (permanent plants) and I have no idea where I’m going to put them! In all, we bought 347 plants! I know that sounds like a lot but most of them were in those little containers that hold 4 plants each. They add up quickly. Why did I buy so many? lets see, I have three hanging planter boxes to fill, and 7 hanging baskets, 4 pots, 2 strawberry pots, and 4 rectangular plant boxes to stuff with blooms. The remainder will go along the edges of my flower beds. I’ve been meaning to get this done all week, but just haven’t had the energy to do it. Now it’s supposed to rain on and off all weekend. Well, if they don’t get planted at least they will be watered. Have to look on the bright side.

Bad Rating?

Happy Childhood and kids of my own someday?

Mothers Day – A love Story

Dancing Nurses

Sleep Clinic Hell

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