We all want a happy, healthy marriage. We all want to feel fulfilled, loved, and needed in our marriage. We want to find joy from our marriage. We want to know that we bring joy to our spouse.
But, not all of us have that in our marriage. Not all of us know how to achieve that happy, successful marriage. And even for people who do have great marriages, we can always do better. We can always find more ways to improve that love and companionship.
Below are 5 habits that we can all adopt that will help to improve our marriage.
1. Go on dates
Marriage should be fun! Yes, there are always going to be causes for stress, and disagreements, and busy lives. But our marriages should bring us joy. Go on dates to strengthen your marriage. Have fun with your spouse. Find activities that you enjoy doing together. They don’t have to be expensive. Just the act of putting each other as a priority, and spending time together, will help to improve your marriage.
Going on dates provides dual benefits. First, it helps us to have fun with each other. It’s good to remember that we enjoy being with our spouse! On top of that, it helps us to get away from the stresses of life. Relieving some of this stress will help us to be less anxious in our lives. This will help us to be in better moods, think rationally, treat each other better, etc.
2. Give compliments
We all want and need to feel loved, appreciated, special, needed, good looking, talented, etc. And in your marriage is the best, and most important, place to feel that. Complement your spouse. Let them know that you appreciate them. Let them know that you are attracted to them. Let them know that you need them, and you think they are special. Say I Love You.
Be specific. Tell them WHY you think they are special. Tell them what they do that you appreciate. Tell them why you can’t live without them.
3. Never talk bad about your spouse
It’s not just about the good words here. Complements aren’t enough. It’s also about avoiding the bad words. Don’t speak negatively to your spouse. This will just frustrate, hurt, and anger them. They are supposed to be receiving encouragement from you, not the opposite. On top of that, never talk badly about your spouse to others. This not only paints them in an unfair negative light, but it helps to foster and encourage you to have negative feelings towards your spouse.
As much as possible, try not to think bad thoughts about your spouse. And never vocalize those thoughts. When you do think negative thoughts about your spouse, immediately replace them with positive thoughts about your spouse.
4. Never say “I”
Your spouse should always be your number one concern and priority. You should always put your spouse’s needs over your own. When making decisions, thinking about perceived grievances, never say the word “I.” Don’t think about yourself! Don’t say “I want to do this,” or “I didn’t like it when they did this to me.” Instead, always think about your spouse first. Think “my spouse would love this,” or “that may have been hurtful to him/her.” Try to understand their feelings and needs more.
Serve your spouse. Put them first. Do the dishes. Even if it’s their turn, or their job. Do an activity that they enjoy doing it, even if it’s not your favorite. As they recognizing you doing this, their attention and priority will also change. As you both work to put each other first, you will notice your marriage strengthening, growing, and improving immediately.
If you just listen, your spouse will tell and show you the things they need from you. Watch the things they do for you. Odds are, they are the types of things they would like you to do for them. Don’t think of their feedback as nagging or whining. Instead, take it as an invitation. Listen to the things they’d like you to do more. And then work to do those things. As you work to listen (and follow up) to the things your spouse is telling, hinting, and showing you that they need, they will feel more of a love for you. They will recognize and appreciate your attempts more. They will work to return the favor.
Nicole is an article writer for The Rehab Advisor. Find addiction treatment and get answers now.