I really wanted to get around to all my Green Thumb Sunday participants today. I wanted to see what’s blooming in their gardens and weed the sites out that haven’t been participating in quite a while. I also wanted to visit some of the sites of people who participate in Photo Hunters and the Do Follow blogroll.
I had hoped to get into my garden for at least an hour to work on pruning and tidying the areas that I haven’t touched yet.
Most important of all I wanted and needed to redesign the theme for this blog – I’m tired of it, and I need to redesign it so I can put some ads up for the new network that I’ve been accepted into (my big deal!!), and to top it all off I wanted to re-design my husbands blog Guitar Licks too because it’s theme totally sucks and I’ve got a really cool theme to use for that site.
Forget mothers day. I’m not a mom. Chris’ family never got it together to do anything for his mom this weekend either so our Sunday was supposed to be free … for me to work …
I wasn’t able to do any of that today.
I think whatever my husbands been fighting since Friday got to me. Except since I have Crohn’s disease it hit my stomach hard and I’ve been in awful pain all day. Not to mention almost constantly feverish.
I feel horrid. I wasn’t able to eat much either. I tried to eat dinner but my abdomen really started to hurt once I got a bit of food down and I had to stop. I hope I’m not going into yet another flare. I’ve already been in a constant flare for more than two years – I don’t need it to peak again.
I’m so sick of this. I can’t make any plans. I can’t even rely on the small plans I make for myself because it always depends on how I’m feeling. This makes me feel useless.
I want to go to a big blogging convention in Las Vegas in November and I’m being asked already if I’m going and, honestly, I can’t say. All I can say is that I want to go. For all I know I’ll either be so sick I’ll be in the hospital at that time, or I might be feeling healthy for the first time in two years. I just don’t know.
Instead, on days like today I’m just lying on the couch, grimacing in pain. Watching TV to try to take my mind off of the hell my body is putting me through. At least I had the Survivor finale to watch this evening. Good going Earl!
If life’s a race I’m falling behind … and If I were a race horse people would be thinking about putting me down about now.