I’ve been mauled!
I haven’t been around for the last few days because I needed to get some work done in my very neglected garden. Naturally I decided to garden during a heat wave! Boy am I smart or what?
So I go out into my backyard to give all my plants some much needed love and attention and what do they do to me? They attacked me! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Literally.
The ringer leader was this thug of a rose called Antique 89. Some name on that girl huh? I think I’ll just call her monster from now on. I thought I could take her. Yeah, she’s seven feet tall, only a little more than a foot taller than me, but I’m smarter, or at least I thought I was when the battle began.
I chose to wrestle with the monster first because the wind had started to blow her over and she really needed to be straightened out. Turns out I was the one that got a straightening out. She was heavier than I expected and I ended up half underneath her before I knew what was happened.
That’s when the screaming started. She sank her gigantic thorns into my back, into my arms, hands and legs. The more I moved the more entangled I got. There was no winning this battle, or so I thought.
Some time during the eternity that I was fighting with this mother of a rose our boarder came outside looking for me. She didn’t find me. Hello? Roses don’t scream! That was me under neath that huge green thing in the corner that was making all the noise.
I finally shoved a few stakes in beside her thick stems and got untagged from her thorny branches. She was still leaning heavily on me and I’m sure blood was dripping on the ground below her leafy bows. I think I tired her out. I used my trusty garden tape to tie her to the stakes that I had surrounded her with so that she couldn’t harm anyone else.
Just then my husband came outside and said “Oh, I thought you were going to call me if you needed help?” He obviously didn’t hear my screams and the subsequent sobbing that occurred.
I went on to battle several other roses over the weekend and won those fights easily. Oh yes, they bit me, but after tangling with the monster I barely felt their thorns.
You see, my arms are on fire. My battle with the thorny monster was on Friday and still my arms are burning. I have at least 50 scratches from the tips of my fingers to just above my elbows on each arm. I look like I’ve been attacked by ten cats. I was wearing pants when I was struggling with the rose but she still managed to scratch up my legs pretty good. I’ll have to take a better look at those pants and see if there are holes in them now.
I’m going to have to stay on top of this gardening situation from now on, especially where Antique 89 is concerned. She’s tasted my blood, now there will be no stopping her if she’s given a small chance. Nope! I’m either going to have to cage her up to keep her from taking other victims or I’ll have to battle her wearing armor. Now isn’t that pretty picture? Particularly if it’s 100 F out! Whew!
And how was your weekend?